One day, about ten years ago, I walked into the downstairs walk-in refrigerator of the hotel I was working in and found two cooks standing on a case of produce looking rather suspicious. I saw that one of them had something in their hand that resembled a familiar vegetable with burnt residue on it…. I asked, “Dude…….is that……uhhh… broccoli?” “Si,” they stated as they blew the smoke into the exhaust fan which, to my knowledge, extinguished itself many floors above. Using a broccoli stem as a vessel for marijuana intake, still to this day, stands as the most creative use of the vegetable from the Brassicaceae family (which also includes kale, cauliflower, cabbage, turnips, and Brussels sprouts).
At the time, I found my encounter in the walk-in quite humorous and creative. Years later, while in rehab (Hazelden), a lot of talk revolved around associations with my alcohol and drug use. Associations are considered triggers to someone in recovery. For example, an obvious association would be driving by a bar, and that bar would trigger a memory, or a response that would make me think of or crave alcohol and drugs. But what about someone like me who associated everything with alcohol and drugs? Every person, place or thing was a trigger for me because of my associations…even broccoli!
Drinking and using became the fabric of my life: at work, home, parties, driving, parking lots, family vacations, fun times, sad times, etc… Rehab and 12 step programs helped give me clarity and guidelines to be cognisant of triggers. Repeatedly experiencing and ‘getting through’ each life situation and/or trigger sober began to rebuild the confidence within myself. This is one reason why the first year of recovery is extremely challenging.
The first year sober is similar to a toddler discovering life for the first time…excited innocence laden with fear. Encoutering ‘that’ person, place or situation sober is a new experience. Having the ability to truly value each experience sober is scary, yet helped me reclaim a confident foundation that was torn down by alcohol and drugs.
After almost 5 years of sobriety I now have the knowledge to see what broccoli truely is: an average vegetable that is usually under or overcooked, and makes my addict brain satisfied that I’m at the very least, eating something healthy.
I like it cut in smallish pieces, sauted quickly, with chilli flakes, xtra virgin, and a shower of pecorino (not too much), and a squeeze of lemon….yum.