Kale: Garnish or Lunch?
Early in sobriety it was evident that I was very sick. The first year, I averaged about 4-5 hours of broken sleep and sweat through 1 – 3 shirts nightly. Furthermore, I suffered from constant swelling and joint pain that had crippling effects on my left elbow, right knee, and fingers. Some of the symptoms were post detox related which may take two years before the body rids itself from alcohol and drug toxins, however, I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). RA is lifelong autoimmune disease that attacks the joints and surrounding tissues. Not wanting to ingest further toxic drugs, I turned to yoga and acupuncture. After a year and a half of a dedicated yoga practice and weekly acupuncture I recognized improvement, however, it became evident that diet may play a role in triggering my RA. So, once it was announced that my yoga studio was offering a catered 3 meal a day raw live vegan food cleanse in conjunction with 30 days of hot yoga, I signed up. My thinking (an acupuncturists) was to remove all food allergens such as flour, sugar, corn, dairy, wheat, caffeine, etc… in order to cleanse the body. Then, once I started to add food items back into my diet I could determine what food, if any, triggered my RA.
This was good theory, however, I discovered it wasn’t so much the food that triggered my RA, rather the stress and anger of being so god damn hungry and pissed off that I couldn’t have caffeine, nicotine, and hot meat (I haven’t returned to nicotine). Let me reiterate that this was a RAW LIVE VEGAN CLEANSE. Think about not eating ANYTHING COOK for 30 days. Not even a roasted nut or a cup of tea. In order to be considered ‘live’ nothing can be heated over 115 degrees. For example, in order to make live hummus, one has to continually soak garbanzo beans for days until they become soft enough to puree. My lasting impression of raw live food was it was either too rich or minimally sustainable.
For example,
Breakfast: Sprouted Buckwheat with Cashew Butter Parfait
Lunch: Raw Kale with Shaved Carrot, Raw Sesame Seeds with an herb lemon dressing (most vinegars are cooked at some point)
Dinner: Zucchini “Spaghetti” with “Almond Parmesan Alfredo”
Dessert: Coconut Chocolate
Breakfast: The first 2 days the buckwheat parfait was rich and tasty. After day 10, however, the richness of cashew butter in conjunction with the sprouted buckwheat, typically fed to horses, began to have adverse effects on my bowels. To this day if I smell or taste cashew butter I gag.
Lunch: A raw kale salad. There is a reason why raw kale is the universal salad bar garnish around the world, not the edible greens that are offered in the bowls to consume such as romaine and spinach. It is firm, tough, and has a long shelf-life once harvested. Furthermore, every kale recipe typically calls for slow braising with some form of salty pork product in order to become more edible.
Not for our cleanse.
If it is good enough for a rabbit....
Kale, it turns out, is a highly prized commodity or superfood in the vegan world packed full of amazing nutrients while providing necessary roughage if the fermented buckwheat didn’t do the trick. Lets just say there is a reason why the only other creature I have witnessed eating raw kale is a fucking rabbit.
Dinner: The zucchini spaghetti was pretty good the first few times but had the same effect as the buckwheat parfait by week two. Zucchini spaghetti consists of two small squash cut into long curly q’s on a Japanese mandolin. The “Almond Parmesan Alfredo” is a 48hr fermentation of blended almonds, lemon, and agave. The slow fermentation of acid and almonds results in a ‘cheesy’ flavored liquid which was tossed with the raw zucchini and consumed. Again, there are reasons why every zucchini recipe calls for some form of cooking or heat. The “pasta” was accompanied by a sprouted seed cracker which is the live foodist’s answer to bread. Essentially, the “bread” was flattened and compressed bird seed.
Dessert: The live coconut solids mixed with raw chocolate was unbelievably rich and tasty. Of course, there was only 2 ounces, but it went a long way and filled me with gratitude.
Nut Cheese Lasagna with Dried Tomato Puree- Good but very rich
The breakfast and lunches were relatively the same, however, we had three or four rotating entrees. The daily fresh squeezed juice was highly prized. Snacks were meant to be light such as carrots, but I supplemented with avocado and raw nuts.
The daily 1 1/2 hour hot yoga practice (105 degrees) aided the detoxing process but increased my hunger. The first week I was in a pure haze of confusion brought on by the absence of caffeine, sugar, and nicotine, yet I was generally excited by the process. Week two the reality of the situation sunk in and I began to get very hungry. By week three I was flat out starving and angry (it did not help working around copious amounts of hot food and large amounts of cheese). By week four the end was near so I pushed through.
The great thing about my sobriety is it has taught me to look for the positive from a tough situation.
Here are some benefits:
1. I realized how much I snacked.
2. Significant weight-loss similar to any other starvation scenario.
3. I have the mental and internal fortitude to accomplish a challenging goal.
4. Learned about nutritional benefits of raw foods.
5. Connected to a new community and meet some interesting folks (most were as crazy as me, and for many, this form of eating seemed more of a social issue).
6. Gained some clarity that some foods affect my RA, however, stress, fatigue, and anger play a larger role.
7. Confident if I end up in a hostage situation that the lack of food won’t be an issue.
Moreover, the 12-steps have given me the tools to try and understand my part in every situation in life that causes me to get frustrated or angry. In this case, the sense of lose and fear played a large role. I removed alcohol and drugs prior to the cleanse, however, I now removed caffeine, nicotine, and food from the equation. I believe I was experiencing a sense of loss. The first emotion or feeling in the grieving process before acceptance is anger. Although I made the decision to remove those items, it wasn’t until they were gone that I became aware of how important or dependent I had become on them. Thus, not willing to accept this plight, my grief didn’t progress past the anger phase due to my unwillingness to let go of my dependencies. This was an important lessen to learn about my inner addict. My addiction doesn’t stop at alcohol and drugs, rather is part of me down to the next porterhouse I’m about to eat.
Notes From The Culinary Addict:
Yogism from from Dina (one of my teachers):“Try to find peace in each asana (posture). The best way to accomplish peace is to breathe.”
Recent 12-step meeting quote:“My mother wasn’t happy about anything in life…she was very religious.”
-I’m not sure something can be considered a meal if it is not cooked, or food for that matter.
-30 people did the raw cleanse. We had weekly meetings to discuss what we were experiencing. It came out at the last meeting that the majority cheated and ate protein along the way. Someone even powered down a pint of ice cream.
-Jamie went to the doctor about his aching back. Turns out he is missing a vertebrae and has a ruptured disc. It appears they will have to take part of his hip bone out to fix it.
-Julian, 52, works 30 hours here and 40 hours at another job said he ONLY has time to have sex 3 times a week with his wife.
-Hung on HBO is a quality show and is produced by Alexander Paine (Election, Sideways, Citizen Ruth)
Band Name of the Week: Hot Meat
Present Pandora Selection: Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
I didn’t know about the cleanse! That food sounds like total shit..