The Culinary Addict

The hardest thing to explain to a non-addict is the how and why of addiction. For me, alcohol and drugs were a large part of the New Orleans culture during my youth, college in the Northwest, and the working environment of the restaurant industry. Thus, from an early age I perceived alcohol and drug use as a positive association to better enjoy people, places, and things.

Shortly after college I became a daily drinker. My drinking and using matured from social and fun interactions into a vice which subduded my emotional fears and concerns about relationships, life, work, etc…. Once I began working in an industry filled with alcohol and drug use the cycle was complete. All facets of my life revolved around some form of substance.

If I was happy, sad, hungover, high, taking a trip or not taking a trip, a beer, pill, or snort of something boosted my ability to function. For many this is a phase. For me, being predisposed to addiction given the long line of substance abusers on both sides of my family, I came to believe that substances were necessary to deal with life on life’s terms. Eventually, the answer to my problems became the problem in itself, and the fun stopped.  For many years it was the solution which gave me the courage to deal with people, places, and things, on a personal and professional level.

At some point, however, I crossed over and became mentally, physically, and emotionally dependent on substances. I achieved goals throughout my life drunk or high why couldn’t I continue to find success? What happen is the successes became fewer and fewer so I increased the intake earlier and earlier (my motto used to be ‘Never too early, but sometimes too late.’) Thus, the vicious cycle began. In turn my life slowly became unmanageable due to my alcohol and drug use. I made more excuses, I blamed people, I became lazy, apathetic, a poor friend, spouse, son, sibling, and employee. I searched harder by trying various combinations of substance to find the success, fun, and laughter I once found. Unfortunately, the substances stripped any spiritual way of being I once possessed. The lifestyle became too much for my brain and body to handle. The solution-Rehab.

It was a crazy few months until I fully realized my unmanageably, as pointed out by friends and loved ones, but an institution was what I needed to break the cycle. The cycle begins with that first drink. It has taken hard work to stay away from that 1st drink- rehab, 12-steps, sponsors, meetings, yoga, helping others, however, all of that work has meaning. For years I searched for solutions via bottles of booze, pills, and pipes but what I found in those empty vessels was just that- emptiness.

Notes From The Culinary Addict:

Yogism From James (my Teacher):”Let Yoga break the patterns of your past in order to open yourself up to a new challenge.”

Recent 12-step Meeting Quote: “When I was drinking all of my heroes in life were drunks.”

-I first became aware of the vicious cycle with my catering partner and her boyfriend in Seattle. For them it started at 7am with Nicotine-Caffeine-Nicotine-Tylenol-Caffeine-Booze (starting anywhere between 10am)-Nicotine-Lots of Booze-Pot-Booze. Everyday.

-My cycle at the end: Oxycontin-Nicotine-Alcohol-Nicotine-Oxycontin-Coke-Booze , etc…. (Starting right out of bed)

–I mixed so much vodka with passion fruit juice squeeze over the years that the smell makes me gag

Kitchen Quotes:

-Chris “I haven’t been to the dentist in 11 years. I know for a fact that I have 8 cavities, look at the hole in my tooth.”

-Heather: “Speaking of smelling like ass, someone clogged up the toilet in the ladies bathroom.”

-Ron: “Must of been a Mexican. Everyone knows Mexicans take the biggest craps. I know, my ex-wife is Mexican and she clogged the toilet all the time.”

-Kristin, our amazing pastry woman is moving onto greener pastures at Baker and Spice in Hillsdale. A great job for a great lady, she will be missed. If you haven’t been to B&S stop by after you hit the Hillsdale Farmers market.

Fetish/Fantasy #17- I have always had a thing for women with a disability. I find limitations extremely sexy for whatever crazy reason especially a deaf woman that uses her hands more appropriately than most, or a woman with a permanent limp, and don’t get me started on amputees. That’s hot.

Question: What are your fetishes?

Search Engine Terms (Words that lead someone to this blog for whatever reason): “Santa addict”

Band Name of the Week: Mormon Redneck

Present Pandora Selection: Black Fucking Sabbath

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